Writing and Dreaming and Reading...

I need people. No matter how much I deny it to myself sometimes I need
somebody there. I need friends. I need people to care. I need amazing
and inspiring. I need laughter and intelligence. I need adventure and
adrenalin. I need to talk and listen. I need stories. It's a fact I am
accepting despite the fact that people can dissapoint and hurt. I
found veritable stars. They're warm and they sparkle. And they give me
hugs.
Regardless...
Can you hear what's in my head?
When you spend time with other people, you have your own opinion, your
own thoughts. Somethings pass through your mind and at times you blurt
it out. And at other times you keep it to yourself. You'd have your
own inside jokes and conversations. You absorb your surroundings and
process them. You think about the moments, the dialogue, the deja vu.
And you'd feel safe because it's in your mind.
But is it?
Uncanny, the feeling that those around you know what is going on in
your mind. It might be something good, it could be something bad and
immoral. It might be your secret desires. It could be how you're
feeling about somethings, like apprehension and excitement for things
that may mean nothing at all. More often than not it could be
something that you never want people to know. You're pretending, but
they know anyway. Just the moment you thought that thought and look
into a friends eye. It seems like they know all about it. Or do they?
Can you tell what I'm feeling just by standing by my side? Can you
tell what I'm thinking? Is it on my face, my hands, the electric
currents around me? (My t-shirt?) Is it in my eyes and gestures? Is it
from the gaze three seconds ago? The way I twirled my fork or brushed
back my hair? Could it be from connections? When I steal your food,
your shoe, or accidently touch? Can you feel my guilt, my envy, my
disgust, my improper excitement? Could it pass through the air? Then
your antenna could receive the signal. It processes. It clicks. Then
I'd be a goner.
It'd be so crazy if you knew. There would be no place to hide.
Disturbed?